What the fuck.

When I feel heavy loss, I feel every heavy loss I've ever felt at once . This one adds so much weight.

Not being able to say one last goodbye to hands down, the funnest, most vibrant person I've ever met in my life is extremely cutting.

Love you, Ry.

i try to say goodbye, my friend
i'd like to leave you with something more
but never, ever, been a bluecorn seed
i have always
been a storm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Fzu1HDSOgE

until mind connects to heart again
i remain the walking ghost

2009-9-2 - 8:40 p.m. a fever a tiptoe a ducking through dark cellar doors a clumsy hustle into bed a hush--remember me

the art of losing isn't hard to master so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster

Jumping Ship

"And let no man lose heart, and abandon a good scheme because he meets chopping seas, and cross winds at the outset, since God may be thereby driving him on a better course, and toward greater ends, than he ever dreamt of."-Thomas Guthrie

2008-01-09 - 9:06 p.m.

I felt instinctively that toilets- and also telephones- happened to be, for reasons unfathomable, the points where my destiny was liable to catch.
*We all have such fateful objects- it may be a recurrent landscape in one case, a number in another- carefully chosen by the gods to attract events of special significance to for us: here shall John always stumble; there shall Jane's heart always break.